It's All About the Journey

Today is your future. Live in the moment!

A Young Girl’s Dreams

“I will never be able to marry Peter Tork now,” were the words that climbed out of my brain and through the process of thought.

Why did I think that?  I am a 62 year old woman now.  Those are the thoughts of the sweet pre-teen, as she teeny-bopped her way into the world to become the teen, and a child with lights in her eyes, and hope in her heart.

The truth is, I’m really not as old as I look.  I’m still 13.  I’m still 14.  I still have those wishful thoughts, the brightness in my mind’s eye, of a life that is idealistic and full of hope.

The days of youth–the crush on the latest star of television, watching The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game, all with dreams in our eyes.  The beautiful face of youth, the beehive hairdo and the thick eyelashes only made by Maybelline or Max Factor.

Songs that brought us daydreams by The Seekers, The Beach Boys, The Everly Brothers.  Ryan O’Neal and Ali McGraw’s eternal vow that Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.

We all were going to go to California and walk the streets of San Francisco.  Become a beach baby and, like Annette Funicello, have our Frankie fall in love with us.

The young girls’ dream.  Of convertibles, sunshine, movie stars, and living happily ever after.

Well, I have made to the living and the happily ever after is right where it’s at, even though I still have my young girl’s dream.


Psychology Today & Eudora Welty

I live among control freaks.  I should know better.  I should study my notes more: Glasser, Jung, Szondi, and a little bit of Freud.  I throw Freud in only because he was mentioned in articles so I didn’t feel it wise to throw him OUT.

I don’t even need to tell you why I am writing, you can read it all here, Eudora Welty explained it very well in the short story, “Why I Live at the P.O.”  This was originally published in 1941.

So the next time you think you have no control, comfort yourself with these words.  And smile.

Fanning My Flame

Surrounded by the comforts of my ancestors, words from the philosophies of Emerson and Thoreau, I am reminded of who I am and where my soul thrives. All of the outside world fades, for just this brief moment of time, and I fan the flame called my soul, into a roaring fire that drives me forward into 2019 and shows me that happiness is right here, inside of me.

Experiments in My Kitchen

Prep for Eye of Round Roast.  I found 4 in my freezer, from last summer’s butcher.  So, I ventured to my favorite cookbook (the internet) to see what it had to say.  I have chosen a simple recipe, which could make or break my family’s holiday meal scheduled for tomorrow.

Preheat oven to 500 degrees.  Salt and pepper the fat side of the roast, put in a roasting pan and place in the hot oven.  Reduce temp to 475 and roast for 21 minutes (or 7 minutes per pound).  Here comes the scary part:  Turn off the oven and let the roast sit in a hot oven for 2 1/2 hours.  Do not open the oven to check it.  Remove the roast, the internal temperature should have reached 145.  Let rest for 20 minutes.  Carve into thin slices and serve.

I have seen many variations on the recipe, but I have chosen this one.  Be on the lookout for “Part 2.”

You may see ham…

Kitten Tales

She touches my calf gently.  “Don’t forget…”

I won’t.  As I high power jump my morning with grinding my coffee beans and filling the pot, she reminds me, she is hungry….

We left  these two, we call “our kids,” to do some Thanksgiving travel.  Unforgotten, they were served by the neighbor, but did not become cat-like and ignore us once we arrived back home late Saturday night.  Peppa, the white kittycat (yes, they are still kittens until their birthday March 15), snuggled between us, placing her paw protectively on my cheek (have to laugh at that one).  Ginger, just HAD to be OUT, so we had to open the bathroom window for just a little while, as this is their exit/entrance routine.

Quite honestly, I never thought I’d own another pet.  As lovely as they can be, and for the love they bestow upon us, they do come with a monetary obligation.  As well they come with an emotional one.  My father, who is 87, has had to choose to not have another pet.  Last Christmas he had to put his cat down.  He sleeps with her picture beneath his pillow and kisses it.  We have spoken to him about Peppa, the cat who loves to jump into our arms and hug.  She would do him well, but he feels he cannot meet the obligation.  She will meet his need for a love connection (and yes, I can do this.  I love my cat, but I love my father and am willing to share that love).

I guess, what I am saying, is don’t snub the cat.  Don’t snub the dog.  They are created and just as useful in their own way, to this world.  Even my barn cats have their need for love and compassion, even though they shrink to the idea that I am gentle.  (More on them another writing.)

America and the War Within Us

We are a nation divided, we are a nation at war.  Not only with the rest of the world, but inside our own world.  We live in a state of anarchy, and everyone appears to do what is right in their own eyes.  The United States of America is apparently in the state of downfall, and her life crumbles before our very eyes.  No one can agree on whether or not there should be gun control, no one can agree on whether or not there should be control on people who need mental health checked.  No one can agree as to whether or not it is okay to let people from the unknown through the door to America anymore, because we do not know the enemy, and we can no longer keep him close.

I have tried myself to get in touch, to make my voice heard by my governing authorities, both Democrat and Republican, and get nowhere.  No one writes back, except for generalizations, no one bothers to call personally.  I will keep trying, but cannot expect much. Would like to, but looking at history, I feel like Eeyore.

Why am I pointing this out?  Because I have been told that if I feel this way, there are at least 100 more out there that feel the same way I do.

I cannot rise above, I can only take care of my immediate world.  This is the task of an oppressed people.  There is a great deal of more oppression out there, I am one of the lucky ones, I grew up in this United States of America.  My heart goes out to the immigrant, I feel bad about not wanting them to come in, but I don’t have the money to take care of them, I can only take care of my own.  Freedom is never free, it is taxed, and We the People are taxed to death.

The voice goes quiet, working out her own salvation.

Journal Update October 2018

I wonder and wander.  I worry.  All the signs of growing older, deep sigh.  I should be writing in a notebook, instead of complaining to my fans.  But maybe my fans feel the same way and I need to reach out and touch someone with these random thoughts.

I have felt better since I got back to my exercise regimen as well (thanks to eBay, I found the routine that they took off YouTube recently, leaving me high and dry and without a workout that helped my aching back).

Nothing like getting back to routine.  Coffee, notebook writing.  I read in a creative writing book that you should write 3 pages, even if you have nothing to say, keep writing, it will come out.  And it does.  Admittedly, I write every other line, sometimes large into two lines, like when I was a child.  Try it, it’s fun!

I also started a prayer book.  Bought this fantastic little blank journal that reminds me of prayer books of the Tudor queens, and it has been blank, now being slowly filled by me, with the prayers and thoughts of the Divine, and only that.  My traditional college bound lined notebook for normal everyday life.  I have a few prayer books, but they are little $1 notebooks.  It’s always good to review, choose a few, and add to the prayer book.

I digress.

I was scrolling through Facebook.  Ah, Facebook, that random, ever so shallow (my own opinion) social media giant.  I post things to sell, which never sell, I “like” and “love” and end up blocking (some things).  I follow all the recipes that I can never cook as they all contain heavy cream and sugar, things that I need to avoid!  And the politics!  I shudder.  It’s all about divide and conquer and separate us from the love of one another.  I found a post where they are stating the Holocaust never occurred.  Interestingly enough, I was just reading a book last night written by a man who was a mere boy in Hungary, and how no one believed the old man who escaped to tell them to get out, leave while they could.  The community ended up at Auschwitz.  He did not know he would never see his mother again.  His father’s eyes became empty.  I am halfway through this little book, a book of history, so we can learn that human life is valuable after all.

I hate war.  I think it is wrong.  So this really challenges me.  People die at the hands of others constantly.  It cannot be helped because there are crazy people in power and they have insane thoughts about who has the right to live, and who has the right to die.  Soldiers come back, if they come back, and have PTSD (or shell shock they used to call it).  We don’t take care of them.  It’s completely mind boggling.  They kill either themselves or others and sometimes (mostly?) both.

Back to history.  I think we need to leave the books alone.  Write others if you must, but  leave the recordings of the thoughts of others in tact.  They are the history of the human race.  One day most of us will be gone, and those picking up the pieces can find them, if they’ve not rotted away.

Completely different subject but I’m addressing it anyway in my random thoughts.  Plastic.  Get rid of it.  I had a couple of red peppers and put them in a plastic bag to transport home and forgot them.  Next day they had already started to rot as they could not breathe.  They make paper bags out of specially grown paper trees.  Let’s use them!  Or get cloth bags, we have started our own collection of cloth bags for this very purpose.  Meanwhile the garbage barges float in the ocean.  Who knows what chemicals flit through the air.

Me?  I need to go exercise now.  Thanks for reading.  Wouldn’t it be great if all my fans would like this page, comment, and comment well so I can add your comments to this blog.

This old lady rambles!