Reflections of Another

http://infloressence.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/the-seeker-a-fragment/

Interestingly, can see my own reflection here.

Thanks, Sig.

On Rocks and Trees

 

“if you remain quiet, the rocks and stones will cry out…”

(Luke 19:40)

Being mindful of how I speak on an interpretation of this for myself today, lest I offend many, I was thinking about these words.  Their context is with the Christ entering Jerusalem, but there are many words written that can convey more meaning and today I want to observe those words in light of my qi.

I have been taking qi gong with Lee Holden and it has opened up doorways that I didn’t know were there, they have just appeared in the woods, the fields, out my back door (and I might add, has taken a pound and a half off my body per week with the breathing exercises).  The inward journey, while breathing has been exciting, discovering who I am and realizing that my person isn’t one to ignore, admonish when I think I’m wrong, or put down.  Mine is a soul worth exploring, and who better qualified than me?  After all, no one will be able to explore that cavern and take advantage of it’s resources like me.

And, in this journey, we take in the air that we breathe, we feel the trunks of the trees, their roughness, observe their mosses, feel growth.

Awhile back someone wrote regarding stepping out barefoot and feeling the earth, getting her energy.  I’m not that person, can’t step in cold snow or damp cold ground, but as soon as I can, I’m going to step on pavement warmed by the sun.  Whether it’s the pavement or the sun’s energy, it doesn’t matter, the thing that matters is that it is available to me.  And I can feel my inner self expand because of it, because I have opened myself to recognizing it and knowing that it exists, and that by my actions, I am expanding my universe.

Let the rocks speak.  They have a story.  Listen and you will hear it.

The Lion Roars

It seems as if March is heading out like the lion.  I was trying to remember if it was a lamb or lion at the beginning.  Lion, I’m thinking?  (correct me if I’m wrong, it will add to my activity on this site here!)    I drove home from babysitting my sweet little granddaughter last night and the conditions were less than desirable.  I don’t like to drive after dark anyway (restrictions apply!), and now the squalls of snow were swirling all the way home on those country roads.  I found myself with the 4 wheel drive on and going about 20 mph.  I only ever drive as fast as I feel comfortable in the evening or rain or bad conditions, so I thought that was interesting enough to mention.  I probably would have yielded to a faster driver, so don’t worry if you get behind me.  I’ll just have to watch out for you later, hoping you having hit something, my faith in your abilities is just as strong as in my own.

In review of the month:

• I took over my friend’s position in the court, changing my life drastically, going from “helpful aid” to “boss.”  I have  collegue, who is invaluable.  I’m getting used this.  One step at a time…
• I had my iphone stolen.  This has sent me reeling, an invasion of privacy, and not only mine, but my contacts, I feel, as well.  I got the iphone back: the foolish thief accidentally posted a picture that went onto my facebook newsfeed.  Very sadly, I realized while trying to restore it back to my own personal settings: the child had no qualms about making it their own and the name keeps popping up, despite “factory re-setting.”  This does not set well with me, it makes my imagination go wild, I get angry at this invasion.  The audio doesn’t function as well, my carrier is sending a refurbished one to replace it, and so far the refurbished sent malfunctioned as well, so I haven’t gotten very far.  What can I take away from this?  This form of technology, even though I was just on the cusp, was my way of life:  I loved the technology, the Olliclip lens I’d purchased for it as my main point and shoot camera, etc.  That joy was taken from me.  I’m hoping it comes back.  But maybe I need to move on, realizing that everything comes and goes, is this another thing to go?
• New vision:  As I post photos here and on kmoser56.wordpress.com (my photography blog), I’m realizing the desire growing to head back to Wales for yet another adventure.  It will take awhile to get there, other things push through, but I’m realizing more and more the importance of paying attention to myself.  Never discredit yourself, your thoughts are there for a reason.  While the rest of the world doesn’t see it, you do.  Pay attention.
• My preoccupation of death has suddenly intensified.  I’m reading about it on blogs I follow closely, I’m seeing it surround me over the last several months.  I’m learning that it’s another fact of life, and not one to fear, but to follow as a natural course and not to worry: we’re all still here, transitioning.  It kind of makes all of the other things I’ve posted above this very minor, doesn’t it?

I think my bottom line in this blog today is:  grab hold of your life.  Take ownership.  This is your life, this is my life.  No one can take it unless I give it up.  And you won’t get my soul.  I get to keep that!  Note to Walt:  Your lessons continue. (thumbs up)

Stop it!

I am a thinker.  I am a methodical plotter (or plodder!).  I need to think things through first before just jumping into them.  As I see my life making some changes this winter and spring, I feel dragged along and it’s tiring me out!  I watch those around me that involve me and how they struggle, my role in their life and it’s striving to be a caregiver of emotional support, My role at my “day job.”  The stress of the loss (and recovery) of my iphone (and let me add here, the stress of finding out all the thief had done to it to make it their own in the course of a few short days and the nightmare–and the generosity, of Apple and Verizon as they worked with me to try to get it back up and running for me again.  This event has taken the life right out of me and my iphone is no longer the joy it was.  The thief not only robbed me of my phone, they robbed me of joy, thank you very much, little thief.)

Anyway, as I see myself starting to stress and trying to think it all through, it feels like walking into a cobweb you didn’t see in the garden.  You feel the wisp and try to brush aside the annoying little web, but you can’t see it, you’re not sure if it’s there, but you can feel it.  You can feel that it’s there.  Brush it off, brush it away!  Quick!

Maybe not so quick.  Sit down and pick it off, sort it out.  My friend texted me this morning when I mentioned it:  “Relax, till you can change something.”  So.  Relax.  Sit down.  Pick it off, look at it, then let it go.  One at a time.  And stop worrying.  

Okay.  I’ll try.

Violations

Someone stole my iphone today.  Just a glance away and it was gone.  The list is small, I’m hoping it will be returned, but the aggravation of changing and deleting accounts is ongoing because it has wifi capabilities.  GPS doesn’t do any good because I never set it up (who knew?).  

As nice a person as I am, I am shocked and disgusted that anyone would treat me that way.  Who do they think they are?  Smart?  Oh, I don’t think so.  Violate my trust and I cannot trust you anymore.