I have thought about this while this pandemic hit and in these disclosed weeks. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, was someone whispering “Fear works fast. Don’t let it work you over.” Further thoughts and I realized I had copied and pasted a document in my files from author Jon Katz, who has given me the wonderful privilege of sharing those thoughts he wrote so very long ago (Thank you Jon Katz). The following is a few paragraphs excerpted from his blog on Bedlam Farm Journal (dated approximately June 2014).
Chronicles Of Fear
I’ve entered a different and powerful phase of my lifelong experience working to understand and control and shed fear, and it has been unusually difficult for me to write about it, as it is intense and disturbing and confusing sometimes. I am writing about it, as always, in the hope that it might be useful to others working to deal with fear and also because it is central to my creativity and my identity as a writer and a photographer. And because it helps me to understand it. Fear has shaped every element of my life and work, for better or worse.
Fear is as much a part of me as walking, I cannot make it disappear. But I mean to control it, and not let it control me.
– Fear is a gift, always. Every racing heart, every awful thought, every discouraged heart is a gift that teaches me, challenges me, defines me and helps me grow.
– Disrupt fear. Fear is a pattern a rhythm, a tradition, a habit, the way we learned to think, usually from our parents or when we were young, from siblings, relatives, thousands of things. It is mostly a response to trauma, psychological or biological. Changing patterns is important. When fear strikes, I get up. Take a photo, sing a song, make love, take a walk, post a message. Fear is confused by different patterns. Patterns can change, even when fear does not.
– Slow down. Fear is fast, always. Slow the mind. Meditate. Drink a glass of water. Take deep breaths. Think sweet thoughts. Fear is confused by a slower mind. Like a big army, it doesn’t change the way it works. I can change the way I work with it.
– Distract fear. Read a mystery. Listen to a CD. Call a friend. See a movie. Paint something, write a poem. Fear needs one’s full attention for fuel. It can be starved a bit by distraction. Our world is full of distractions, use them.
– Starve fear. Fear is hungry and in our country there is plenty of fuel. Doctors spread fear and so do lawyers and politicians and journalists and forecasters and friends and neighbors and corporations and insurers and bureaucrats and producers. There are few institutions in or world that make money offering safety and comfort and so fear is everywhere. We are porous, we absorb it. Think of how many people you know who watch cable news or other media who are angry and fearful. Or who have doctors who make them feel good, not bad. What does the news really do for us in our time? Inform us, or frighten and enrage us? For me, every interaction with peddlers of fear and anger must be considered, weighed, understood, even when the universe around me is moving in a different direction.
This is called awakening.
– Confuse fear. This is a battleground of the mind, and the mind is my friend as well as my enemy. Fear begins with images of trauma and danger – past, present, future. Our weapons are other images. When fear comes up in me, I think of Maria. Or of the meaning of my life. Or of books I want to write, of the dogs and animals, of my ambitions for myself, of my creative spark. I feel fear shift then, get confused, perhaps unnerved by these new and different images. It blurs, weakens. If I think of them often, they enter my consciousness too.
– Crowd fear. Fear fills the space it is in. Meditation is the most effective way for me to plant other ideas, other thoughts, to crowd fear out. It is not the only thing. Meditation is not a woo-woo thing, it is a powerful, even disturbing tool and for me, needs to be applied knowledgeably and thoughtfully. Because I can’t always control what comes up there.
So a conflict of small changes, different thoughts, new habits and traditions. Like the old guerilla fighters – Mao, Ho Chi Minh – always preached. Fear wins when we surrender to it. We win by surviving and transcending it, small battles, important battles, every day. Be small and swift, be agile and determined. Be patient and brave. There is strength in that, and strength is the great enemy of fear.
This is an abbreviated version of his article, I have posted this for whatever you, the reader, is afraid of, to repeat the words of Jon Katz, words he permitted me to pass along. Disarm fear. Not only with the pandemic, but in all of those things in life that beseech you, that try to claim your happiness and your peace.
For those of you interested in reading more of Jon Katz, it’s Bedlam Farm Blog Journal, or bedlamfarm.com.
Other points of my life I cannot fail to point out: the joys of seeing my children grown and successful, their choices of spouses equally successful, and the beauty of grandchildren, the innocence and watching them mature in understanding and wisdom.
This child is the observer, always watching. Today, 8 years later, still my snuggle bug. The others are just as important, but this is the picture that captures my heart on this writing.
It's All About the Journey 
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